I Love Parkersburg
Parkersburg, my other hometown.
The headline says it all.
But I’ll say it again.
I love Parkersburg: always have, always will.
Parkersburg was my home for almost eight years: from August 2001 to August 2008.
During that time I went, and was kicked out of two schools: Ohio Valley College (now Ohio Valley University) and Parkersburg Bible College. In that time I had 10 roommates at six different dorms and apartments. I worked 11 different jobs, starting at McDonald’s in the Traffic Circle, and ending with Spencer Gifts after resigning from The Parkersburg Register.
Every day in Parkersburg was an adventure for me. Yes, Parkersburg isn’t close to being a big city by New York City/Los Angeles standards. It’s just barely the third largest city in West Virginia. But I loved it.
Many of my friends hate the city, complaining that there is nothing to do there. But I find that, just like anywhere, it’s up to the person to make wherever they are fun. I found fun in Parkersburg.
For example, there is a family in Parkersburg that have a fake, life-size giraffe in their yard. I don’t know why.
The streets are guarded by the brothers Pete and Re-Pete, who dress a like, walk the same distance apart. Sometimes you can even find them masturbating under a tree.
I miss the kids on skateboards, riding from street to street warning the residents to hide their crack – like modern day Paul Revere’s – because the police were making a sweep door-to-door to issue warrants.
One time I saw a guy in the middle of winter riding a bike in a chicken costume. I don’t ask why, I simply take it all in. Parkersburg to me is like Los Angeles to Tony Pierce.
I have the greatest friends in Parkersburg. People such as Baker, Rollins, Stoltz, Kaisha, Cale, Eden, Liz, Lemley,
Me, with friends Eden and Cale.
Kingtos, and others. They are funny and witty, smart, and throw the best parties. I miss their good-natured ribbing. It was good to see them this weekend.
Those were just my long-time friends. Now I want to see my new friend Melody. I want to discuss the state of modern music with her and see her smile and listen to her laugh at my retardedness.
St. Marys has been a good experience. I came here to repair some broken bridges, with my Dad and Mom, my family, old friends. I have accomplished this mission and have had one of the best years of my young life.
But Parkersburg is my second hometown and I feel it calling my name.
