Steven Allen Adams – Conversations with Myself

Crazy Eyes for President!

It occurred to me in my last post that maybe I was too hard on people with crazy eyes.

People with crazy, or lazy eyes, make up 2.36 percent of our American population (I can’t confirm that number). They lead normal lives, but while one eye is looking back at you, the other is bouncing around like a pinball.

I once went on a date with a girl with lazy eye. It was a double date and the girl was the older sister of a girl my cousin was dating at the time.

We ate at The Fort in Sistersville, W.Va, and I sat across from the girl. I looked down at the menu and looked up and saw her left eye having a optical seizure. I couldn’t look at her at first, imagining what making love to the Cookie Monster would be like.

I finally got to the point where I could look her in the eye, literally, and we were talking and having a good time. But then I did something that pretty much ended the date…

…while we were talking I would stick my right hand in the air, causing her lazy to follow my hand around while the normal eye looked straight ahead.

I found it to be funny. She did not. End of date.

Since then I learned to show respect to crazy-eyed…um…I mean, lazy-eyed people. Allow me to introduce the celebrity spokesman for lazy eye: Steve Buscemi.